I've been burning on a couple of things lately. This might make some folks mad because they are two things that many people enjoy. Some people make both a significant part of their lives. But I don't care because each has really been burning me up lately.
I'll start with dogs. There are some good dogs out there. The kind that live outside, provide some quiet companionship, and maybe even keep intruders away. I don't mind this kind of dog too much, but its another kind of dog that I do mind, one that has become all too common for the American family. Its those little dogs that live inside, have a high pitched squeal of a bark, and become the center of attention at any social gathering. The kind that are about the size of a brick or two. They resemble a furry brick with four legs and a snout. I digress. Anyway, my neighbors have a dog like this. Every time I walk into or out of my apartment I hear this incessant high pitched yip yip yip followed by its owners shouting, "Boss! Stop that Boss! Get over here! Shut up!" And yet despite its owners' imperative commands it continues to bark as if it doesn't even understand English. I think the first problem with this situation is that they named their dog Boss. I feel that this is symbolic. A boss is the head of group. It has the final say, the most authority. When you name your dog boss you're saying that you are no longer own the dog but the dog owns you. I enter and leave my apartment several times each day. What kind of life is it to hear an abrupt high pitched repetitive interjection of a noise, yell at the top of your lungs for it to stop, and it doesn't even listen to you. If that's man's best friend then I'd hate to encounter man's worst enemy.
My fiancee's family has a similar dog. All too similar. Every time I visit her when she's visiting them I ring the doorbell and......"Yip yap yip yip!" "Shut up!" "Yip yip yip!" "Get in your pen!" "Yip yap!" "Quiet!" "Yip!" And then finally when my fiancee answers the door its, "Sorry about that." [look of disgust on her face] "Ugh...stupid dog." And this happens every time, no exceptions. What a way to begin a visit with my future wife that I don't get to see all the time at the moment! Her mom always says, "one of these days you'll come and that dog won't be here anymore." [with a 'what a relief that will be' look] And they always offer to send it home with me whenever I leave. Does this sound like a playful, loyal companion that many want to treat as part of the family? Its bad enough to do it to babies, but at least there's a chance they may pick up on something one day. With dogs, the best you're going to get is another high pitched, "Yip!"
Another thing about this kind of dog - people react to them the same way they do with babies. What I mean is, a group can be sitting around having a semi-intellectual conversation, then the furry four-legged brick runs in. These same people who one second before may have been discussing the threat of capitalist degradation are now babbling incoherently to a thing that has no capacity to comprehend this dumbed down form of human language. Have you seen these people? The ones that baby talk to dogs? It's sickening.
Maybe I'm just a despicable person. But maybe some of you now understand why I don't like dogs that much. Like I said, not all dogs are like that, some a very good. But even the good ones seem like a nuisance to me. And for the second thing that's been burning me up........above entry